Neglected

Today is 25th of December..Christmas..why the feeling for being neglected are getting stronger and stronger until I can't take it anymore...

Am I being too sensitive?or paranoid?why this feeling can't just spare me off?Did I offended them?because I treated all people around me very bad?or not good enough?

Yes, I am not a good guy, not a good son, not a good friend, and even not a good boyfriend...I deserved it...I shouldn't waste my time to do and make those things to get my friends attention just because I don't want to be neglected...Is time to make a choice Rannie...

To choose: "Whether you still want to continue or surrender?"

An irrevocable gap

Today is 23rd of December...feeling down today...I suddenly feel like those friends I cherished are no longer close to me anymore...The gap between me and them are getting bigger and I'm almost unable to reach them...just because I seldom come back to kluang?or I am a burden for them because I unable to drive myself?or my vicious mouth spouted any nonsense? That's all I can figure out why I'm unwelcomed...
I really don't know what to...pray to the God?just let it be?or I just focus on my new friends?I slowly became not important to everyone (except my bibi,because I know we love each other)..I really want to be a good friend to all my friends..I will try...no matter pray to the God, learn to drive, or change my vicious mouth...I will try my best to become a better person and also a good friend to all friends around me...because I cherish everyone of them...