Neglected

Today is 25th of December..Christmas..why the feeling for being neglected are getting stronger and stronger until I can't take it anymore...

Am I being too sensitive?or paranoid?why this feeling can't just spare me off?Did I offended them?because I treated all people around me very bad?or not good enough?

Yes, I am not a good guy, not a good son, not a good friend, and even not a good boyfriend...I deserved it...I shouldn't waste my time to do and make those things to get my friends attention just because I don't want to be neglected...Is time to make a choice Rannie...

To choose: "Whether you still want to continue or surrender?"

An irrevocable gap

Today is 23rd of December...feeling down today...I suddenly feel like those friends I cherished are no longer close to me anymore...The gap between me and them are getting bigger and I'm almost unable to reach them...just because I seldom come back to kluang?or I am a burden for them because I unable to drive myself?or my vicious mouth spouted any nonsense? That's all I can figure out why I'm unwelcomed...
I really don't know what to...pray to the God?just let it be?or I just focus on my new friends?I slowly became not important to everyone (except my bibi,because I know we love each other)..I really want to be a good friend to all my friends..I will try...no matter pray to the God, learn to drive, or change my vicious mouth...I will try my best to become a better person and also a good friend to all friends around me...because I cherish everyone of them...

Down...

Today is my birthday. A Holy Day, thanks Mummy...I glad you bring me to this world, you gave me the chance to meet so many cute friends and my Dear Laopo~I always think that I'm born to know her, be with her, and use all my love and passion to love her until our lives end. I'm very confirm that she is THE ONE that I'm searching for...She will be the ONLY ONE woman in my life, no doubts, I love her...Muackkss~~~

Today is also the 24th day that I worked. I met many obstacles, under stress, and feel useless. I can't even reached the target to go to bangkok. I tried to call all my friends, no matter in biotech, biomed, or even biochem. Finally, only two of them willing to come out for the briefing. I'm was like on cloud nine when they agreed to come out...but things always unexpected. One refused to come out last minute, so I went out to wait for the other one at Station R. I waited the person for 3 hours, he didn't show up. I was so sad because he doesn't even want to pick up my phone. All at once I fell into a state of profound melancholy, I always thought that my charisma and my social skill is good. But today what I found is I am not as good as I thought.

I keep questioning myself, "Am I not important to them?"(This phase is learnt from another friend, haha, don't ask me who he is) This is the second time feel like this. I finally have doubts on my social skills after I changed to be a better man. This is because before all these, when I'm still *young*, my hair still very short, still look sucks, a very honeymoon Form4, I not the Rannie that you all know(only for foundation and degree friends). I am a petty, bad tempered person. Throughout the whole form4, my life was like engulfed in the bleak of darkness, no light able to pass through it. I cried almost everyday in my class, quarrelling with my friends, sleeping during classes, playing truant all the time and self-questioning, "Am I not important?"

I wrote my desk that all my defects that need to be overcome as soon as possible in order to get back to those friends that I treated them very important. I tried not to get angry, not to use my vicious mouth to talk cocks, not show dissatisfy on them and even on my face. I nearly become a people that has no temper, the only thing that I will angry is they say I am a sissy. I hate this word to use on me, this also makes me dislike those people who acts very sissy or a cag(also known as Chao Ah Gua). I finally go through these issues, a big obstacle was eliminated in my life path.

After 3 years, this kind feeling came again. I'm scare that I'll back to those time. No!!! I don't want!!! I hate the old Rannie, go away!!! Stay away from me!!! I don't want you amymore!!! but, Do I Like The Brand New Rannie Now? Nope, I think. My life is messy, not organised. Can't do things well, maybe I'm too self-centered.

But at least, I have a better life now because I have my Laopo, my best friends and my family. Because of them, I still have the strength to walk until now. I hope that this work is a kind of trial and tribulation before I enter social...

At last, Happy Birthday to You, Rannie. Hope you can be a better man...

My Part Time Job!!!~~~

Today is 7th of September, I juast came back from Sunway Pyramid. Wow...I'm so great is it?

I dare to go out for 3 days during my study week (I haven start to study). Yesterday, err...I mean Saturday, Eeshen and I went to Puchong to attend T3...What is T3?This is some kind of training...It's boring but useful...I have learned a lot of things there, especially this slogan:"If you want to success, you need to change yourself"These words had influenced me a lot...Thanks to Mr Eric...He told us to take one paper, write down all our weakness(bad character) and rectify them one by one in order to boost our self-discipline.

He also said that we need to be confident when do anythings, if there is a will, there MUST be a way for you...I CAN!I WILL!I MUST!!!This is what he want us to tell ourselves ...

On the next day, after we slept in Ah Wai's room, he fetched us to go to the Sunway Pyramid Convention Centre.We dressed in smart formal...Haha~~After we reached there, I was shocked when i saw the people there...damn crowded there...MOST of them are the richie fellow.I hope I can be one of them someday.

I also met friends there...Ah Yao, Yun Sheng, Wei Jian(handsome guy), Jian Long(my Laopo's coursemate), Lim, Choi Ling, Ping An, Romeo, Kok Le(smart guy), Ah Wai, Ah Fai, Yue MeI(cool gal) and many many more~~~Glad to meet them. I hope I can get into them soon.

In conclusion(it's sounds weird, like writing report..Haha..*laughing*), I FOUND A PART TIME JOB!!! Thanks to Eeshen...So..anyone who are interested in earning extra *more than extra* money, you may contact me~~Hohoho~I will show you the way.

*PS:The job I introduced to you all, is not direct sales*

Sleepy again...Zzzz...

Today is 31st of August...MERDEKA!!! This word sounds stupid to me. No doubt, I hate Malaysia a lot. Busy recently, assignments, lab quizzes, laab tests, midterms and stupid reports. All these stuffs have agonized me throughout these two months made me not enough time to sleep, drooling when sleep in lecture class, less entertainment and no time to exercise.

Forgot to say, I have a so-called cute temporary roommate. His name is Tayshawn (search his name in my facebook if want to add him). A Seremban guy, same with Ah Xiu,Mi Chelle(She hates me to call her like that). This is his picture, i guess most of my uni frens know him.

Today when I went to ktm station to fetch my Laopo, I met a twins, both are handsomes guys. I met them and now they are just opposite my room...*neighbours*. I didn't talk to them because they looked a bit gayish. After that, I finally saw my lovely Laopo although she is wearing mask (because of stupid swine flu), kissed her cheek softly,carrying her stuffs and went to old town find a temple to pray. I went to oldtown many times dy, but i never realise that such a huge temple are built there...*ashamed*, maybe I just focus on Church there. After prayed, she got one amulet for herself and another one for hermin (her roommate). I can't keep it cuz I'm Christian.

Under the scorching sun, we walked to an aquarium and bought 3 guppies~Damn nice...2 females and one male, but the male guppy died 5 minutes ago if I'm not wrong, maybe it lack of oxygen and asphyxiated...Bye bye my new guppy~*sob sob*(I haven't give it a name also).

Looking at the color on my hands while sitting in a coffee shop, (haiz...my complexion increased another tone ady). We ordered one Pan Mee and one Dry Noodles(large). You guess how much it cost??They cost only RM 5 FOR BOTH!!! DAMN cheap man! I Love Oldtown!!!

*PS: I love my Laopo also~~^^(Laopo, Dun angry when you saw this ar...Hahaha)

After this tiring day...I worn out...Sleepy right now...Hope can sleep on my Laopo's slim thigh~~~Good NIGHT Laopo~~~muackss! *hughug*

SLeEpinEss Zzzz

Today is 17th of June...The third week I came to Kampar...I knew one new friend through Tayshawn...His name is Damien Choong JuN wAI...He is such a famous guy in kampar...he is also a damn good talker...better than me a lot...his language, the way he mimics others is damn pro...and he also quite lengzai...I am quite happy to know him...because finally i can keep quiet a bit dy...because it is very interesting to listen to him when he talks cocks...Hahaha~~This is his picture:

I din sleep the whole night until today because I chat overnight with Eason...then I rushed to my first class at 8 am at DDK1 for Atomic structure...The class is damn boring!!! and somemore i met an very embarrass incidence...

[A guy passed the attendence list to me when I was sleeping...then a guy who wearing a red shirt and sat behind me woke me up...Damn...many ppl looked at me that time...damn embarrass at that moment...I wished to dig a hole on the lecture theater's cement floor and put my head inside...and somemore my head is so big...i wonder how long would i take to dig such a big hole?]

But the most happiest thing happened today is my Laopo first time bought my favourite KFC for me^^quite touch...but unfortunately i forgot to take the picture of the KFC...Haiz...i gave her a goodbye kiss after Scott,Henry,Bond,Tayshawn and me escort her back to her house...then we all went to find Damien...

We went to place called G2...It is something like a youth club...got free air-con,darts,microwave,karaoke,studyroom and WiFI are provided...Damn good...The most diao thing is...

All are free of charge!!! YOU MAY USE IT AFTER YOU REGISTERED!!! NO NEED TO PAY A CENT!!!

We all waited Damien for about one and a half hour...he showed us the videos and pictures he took when he went to London with his dad...Wow...that's cool man...those pictures he took is damn nice...all exclusive de...

After we went to yum cha...me,Eason,bond,Henry and Tayshawn are hanging around outside our house gate,trying Henry new bike...which cost him at least RM 450...DAMN expensive...but that bike is really good but i still prefer Tayshawn's bike which is white in color...very cool...I kept yawning at there...then i went back into my house after Tayshawn gave me a goodbye kiss...Hahaha~~~

dAMN sleepy now...tomorrow still have to go to school at 7.30 am...I still have another 5 and a half hours for me to sleep now...Tired...yawn*

Curry chicken in the Bread~

Today is 29th if May 2009, the 6th day I came to kampar....After me,Laopo and HuiJie bought the PTPTN pin code, we go to explore the OLD TOWN in kampar~~It looks very similar like Kluang....but here is a bit older than ours...then we suddenly decided to eat the "min bao gai"or the "Chicken in the bread"~this dish is quite famous in kampar...

If you wan to eat "min bao gai",you must come to this shop!!!

Dun come to this shop!!Tipu people...

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Proudly present this "Min Bao Gai"!!!Curry chicken in the Bread~

wah~~~HuiJie's mouth looks so big wor~

Laopo~~also looks very cute~

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The food is damn delicious~~you see:"please observe my face"
TheFirst Bite~

The Second Bite~

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Me and Laopo~~~

Laopo and HuiJie~~~

Laopo ate so full~~see her face!!

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Aftermath~~~~

I also bought the "gai zai beng" in the same shop~~

Me and my lovely Laopo~~~

If you really wan to eat this "min bao gai"~come to kampar!!!I'll show you the way^^

DrAmA~~~

Hohohoho~~~Drama Time~~

On the 9th of April......

Horrible TE4's drama~~~

The aftermath:

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(Me N Kalai~~~~)

In the whole drama...Kalai helped me a lot....like costume and portfolio....

Thanks for her to come to ss17 to do tat almost overnite from MC....

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(Bond Bond and Me~~~)

Cute mah???wakakaka....Bond bond very 抢镜头...

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(Wah!~~~LeeYen ah~~~~)

Wakao....your face so big de ah???Haha~~

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(my sauting; hermin,leeyen,ring and Me~~~)
We all are too stress~~~bcoz of the middle person-Hermin who lives on the kidney...
hey hey....why do i said so???
Due to her excessive of cortisol(hormone tat response to stress)
is manufactured in the adrenal gland which "sits" on the kidney.....
That's why she looks so stress all the time...
And we are affected by her dy...

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(Walao~~~wat is this??!...GxY in UTAR??)

This 2 "wai lou"...tak tahan them lah...nearly kiss loh~~~

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(Oops~~~)
Can u see my fingernails???all colored dy...wakakaka....
black and red oh~~~
Are u dare to try this???

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(Haha~~"zha zha"~~~Wuakakaka~~)
"Zha zha" breasts actually is a good exercise for gals ...if u found a keras part on your breasts,then May The God Bless U lah....

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(Bond N me~~~)
Yiyerr...dun like tat lah...have to pay before touch de....

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(even Mi Chelle oso "zha" my breast)
Ah Xiu ah...even u oso.....

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(Ouch~~~Pain Pain ah.....)
Kena molest ah.......

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(Me N Hermin~~~)


MY BREASTS IS BIG ????Hohohoho~~~

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(Me and Ring~~~)
妖艳leh....haha.......

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(Lee Yen and Ring~~~)
I think LeeYen very suitable to act a beggar lah...
you see....so talented...
maybe someday u will see her asking for some alms in ss2 oh^^
Wuakakka...juz kidding lah...
LeeYen dun angry ah~~~I'll forgive u de....haha...

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(Me and Lee Yen,the beggar)
Yeng leh......

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(Yvonne,Lee Yen and Me~~~)

Hohoho....Sabrina(Yvonne) ,LeeYen and Me....
standing outside of PA 146 after drama...
haha...very funny leh.....

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Aiya....Finally drama finished loh...and i lost contact with 2 ppl immediately too...
Haha...obviously you all will knw is who de lah...kaka....
but....
our drama end up is in a mess....
coz got PPL come out suddently and cut off our scenes....
Damn beh song...
Pui~~~
Lap Sap Mui...
And the small beast who keeps forget the script's lines...
then start saying "CRAPS" during the drama....
Feel like to slap both of them REPEATEDLY until they vomit...
But nice to meet then in foundation...
but luckily no need to see them shen in Kampar....
Damn Lucky.......Hohoho...
"How disgusting you two little brats"
Haha...my line in the Drama....

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An advice for everyone:

"Dun judge a bitch by its VOICE"

切记~~

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Drama rehearse~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wakakakkaka~~~~~

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~~~~~~~Hohohoho....this is me..."The BEAUTIFUL Rafflessia"~~~~~~~~Yucks...

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Damn geli when i saw this picture...even my laopo oso cannot tahan ...

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Henry ~~~act as our King And The Genie~~~

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THIS is our group leader~~~Jing jing~~~

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(act as Evil Queen)....Kikiki~~~

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This our Kalai Amutha~~~~

(Kalai act as Ali MatGila and oso my costume provider+designer)

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Very thanks to her sari....Very nice for me tat day ONLY...

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(Scott act as Ali Wanton , my husband in drama~~~keke...)

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He is very "wai" rite??Haha...Normally he wont do tat de lah.....He juz play play only.....

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(Ring, my group member act as Minmin& Lawyer)

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This perasan po,when we are preparing our costume....Do you know wat she is doin???she is taking her 自恋照 ...haiz...

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(When preparing the costume~~Kalai is my designer)

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My group members: Ring , Henry , Scott , Kalai , Jing , Spiky, and me of course~~~

wuahahaha....wanna see more pic???kiki~~~

IN next blog...

~mY BesT FreN~

Today is 21 March 2009....Feeling weird today...dunno why...maybe because quite stress these days...rushing for assignments(actually i'm not contribute anything)...always watching my laopo working with her laptop...none stop...even though she is in "pain"...

I suddenly miss Haohao,my best friend,today...dunno why...maybe feeling guilty for didn't study these days...He is the source of energy for study...if without him...my result will be very sucks...I always want to compare with him although i knew that it's impossible for me to become better than him...

He is so perfect...i never met someone that can inspire me that much...due to his perfectness,it makes me want to become like him...He is very good in maths...but it is the subject that always pulls down my grades...but for him...it's very easy to score an A in that subject...so...i always force myself to do more exercises...but luckily i got a B- for it last semester...Thanks to him...

He has a flawless face...>=7cm taller than me...having a very stylish hairstyle just like the character in the animate...He is very handsome even though when he is "botak"...but dunno why...he dun have any girlfriend before...maybe his "ngan gwong gou"...

He likes to shoot me...but i still like to chat with him...he is now studying at singapore...aerospace...i can't always see him...although we live in the same hometown...i knew that if i dun always contact him,we will lose contact forever......

He maybe will not remember my contact number after a few years,but i'll still always sms,msn him...but we always at the loggerhead...but because of that...our friendship is pulled closer and closer...although he never realize it...but for me...It is...

I hope to see him soon...and will not lose contact with him...because he is one of the most important person in my life now...and i really wish and hope that our friendship can last forever...Amen...